Marrying a One night stand

September 08, 2008

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AUTHOR:

cheizia

DATE: 04/06/03 4:02am

SUBJECT:

Marrying a One night stand

I am in a dilemma right now and I need some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship since last year. He lives in another country and I am working here in America. Before I left, we had plans to get married already and that he will soon follow me here in America. Our communication was good and though we had disagreements, we never had a fight. We used to talk to each other 2-3 times a week…until 3 weeks ago when his calls suddenly stopped. He had mentioned before that he will be assigned to a remote island where there is no phone signal because of his work. So it didn’t bother me that much.

Four days ago I received an email from him that he had gotten his one night stand girl pregnant. It was a family friend of them tat he had a few drinks with. He said that he will most likely marry her. In our country, offering marriage is the most logical thing to do. He is confused and I haven’t heard from him since.

I still love this guy inspite of what happened and I am willing to accept the child and share in his responsibility in raising the child. I know that there will be obstacles along the way but I am certain that I’d rather be with the person who makes me happy rather than settling for my second-best choice, wondering whatever happened to the one who got away. I can still see myself having kids of our own and growing old with him.

He is taking his time to think about things right now and we have not talked since. But I know that there will be a lot of pressure from his family, her family and other people.

I dont want her to marry her out of obligation. But I dont want him to run from this responsibility. I will still support him in raising this child and in giving all the love. But to be trapped in a marriage that you were just forced into is another thing. How can I tell him that marriage is not the solution to his problem? That he's got other options too like being a part of this child's life still, but not necessarily being the girl's husband? I dont want him to be unhappy for the rest of his life if he cant learn to love this person.

Please help.

MESSAGES

Marrying a One night stand

cheizia

04/06/03 04:02am

Re: Marrying a One night stand

ajakajoe

05/16/03 05:39am

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