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| |    Explaining Terrorism to Children by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. One of the most common questions I've heard from parents since September 11 is what to say when their children ask, "What is a terrorist?" This question is not at all simple, because anything other than a very superficial answer requires that you try to understand terrorism itself--a rather difficult subject to comprehend. Asked by a child, the question "What is a terrorist?" can mean many different things. It could mean, "How can I tell the difference between terrorists and all the other people I see walking down the street?" (a question that even our government has yet to answer). Or it might mean, "Are terrorists people like you and me, or are they altogether different?" Terrorists are people, too Given the overwhelming, incomprehensible violence, it is natural to demonize terrorists, to think of them as non-human monsters rather than as human beings who do monstrous things. The belief that terrorists are somehow demons, while understandable, has two very negative consequences. For young children, certainly, it can feed into an exaggerated fear of the power of terrorists (if they can do this, they can do anything). This fear is precisely what terrorists want to create. Second, the belief that terrorists are not human breeds hatred: If they are so evil and unfeeling, then we are justified in wanting not just to stop them but to exterminate them. Such hatred can easily spill over to other people who are not themselves terrorists, but who merely happen to share a religion or other features with terrorists. A child who asks, "What is a terrorist?" needs help understanding that terrorists are people who do indescribably evil things, but are people all the same. How you convey that message depends on your child's age and developmental level. Talking to younger children A preschooler or early school-age child needs a very simple answer. You might say that a terrorist is somebody who tries to kill people or to blow up buildings in order to get attention. And you can explain that even though terrorists might think that they are justified in their actions, they are never right to do what they do. As with any tough issue, when talking about terrorism with a young child, a good rule of thumb is to supply short answers to the specific questions he asks, and not much more information than that. As young children become ready to take in more details, they will ask for them. In this way, you will avoid overwhelming your child with information that he can't understand. Talking to older children and teens While most older children and teens know the literal meaning of the word "terrorist"--in the sense that terrorists kill innocent people and destroy things--they still are likely to have many questions about the particular terrorists who carried out the September 11 attack and about terrorism in general. With teens, especially, it may be more effective to begin by asking questions and inviting them to express their thoughts, instead of launching into a lecture. You might ask your teenager, for example, "How are terrorists different from others who commit unspeakable acts of murder?" Or "Are the people who are responsible for recent school shootings terrorists? If not, why?" For adolescents, whose more sophisticated thinking allows them to comprehend abstract ideas, the horror of the recent attacks may lead to serious questions about the meaning of good and evil. Are those who commit acts of terrorism fundamentally different from the rest of us? Are there circumstances under which we could imagine ourselves acting as the terrorists have? Has our government ever taken actions that might appear, from the point of view of others around the world, to be terribly wrong? Can we understand terrorism without accepting it? Is it important for us to try? Such questions lead into very dark territory, and not every teenager (and certainly not every school-age child) will be ready or able to venture there. But if your child is clearly struggling to understand terrorism you may be able to help her through the process by asking questions and then listening carefully to the answers. There are no simple right and wrong answers, of course. What is important is the attempt to understand. I think that the horrible, nightmare events of September 11, 2001, will lead a lot of thoughtful children and teens to ask questions and perhaps grow up as more aware people as a result. More information: Talk about:
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