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| |    Coping with the Emotional Fallout by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. As horrifying as recent terrorist attacks were, the days to come are sure to pose even more emotional challenges for our children. For adults and children alike, the first response to an overwhelming disaster can be a sense of unreality. After the initial shock wears off and the facts sink in, then other emotions, such as sadness, fear, and anger, are likely to emerge. Like adults, children often have a delayed response to witnessing traumatic events. They tend to take their cues from the adults around them, but may respond in ways that are hard for adults to understand. Some clearly act upset, crying or clinging. Many continue to play as though nothing had happened, but are very aware of the mood and conversation of the adults around them. Later, they may ask questions or show through their play or behavior that they have been affected emotionally. The closer you are to the traumatic events--perhaps because you live near one of the sites of violence or have relatives who were directly affected--the more intense your emotional response, as well as your child's, is likely to be. But the unfortunate fact is that everyone in our society was affected, and every child will observe and have to deal with the emotional fallout as the adults around them review, discuss, debate, and react to the events. Observe children's responses Some children's reactions will be easy to interpret. They will blow up block buildings over and over, or crash a toy airplane. They will draw explosions and smoke, as they saw on television. Other reactions will be less obvious. Children may act more serious, with less spontaneous joy, or look in a worried way at the sky or buildings along the street, as though they might burst into flames. Other children may be unusually wild or disobedient, which is just their way of dealing with the strong emotions around them. Children's artwork may be indirectly related to the traumatic events. A child may draw a sad-looking house, for example, or a dog that "is very sick, and he might die," as the little artist might explain. Another child might make a happy scene with a sun and flowers, declaring, "I want everyone to feel happy again." Verbal children may ask many questions, or ask the same question over and over. Others may ask one question (about the plane blowing up, for example), accept a parent's answer in a matter-of-fact way, then go back to playing. Although they seem unaffected, they are processing your answer. Hours or even days later, they may ask the next part of the question: "Did the people in the plane die?" It's important to recognize that all of these behaviors are attempts to deal with the upsetting, frightening emotions raised by the traumatic events. What you can do Children need permission to deal with difficult emotions, just as adults do. They also need to have the freedom not to deal with emotions, at least outwardly, until they are ready to handle them. Some specific things you can do include:
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