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| |    The Lighter Side of Birth Order by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. We parents love all our children equally, of course, but most of us admit that, after each baby, our standards relax just a bit when it comes to the little things in life. Check out the observations listed below and see if any ring a bell in your household. (Please keep in mind that these aren't recommended practices-they're just meant as humorous observances on the art of parenting!) Baby bottles First child: Not only do you have your bottles lined up neatly in your baby bottle cabinet, color coded for breast milk, formula, juice, and water, but you buy a sterilizing kit and routinely boil nearly everything that comes in contact with your baby's mouth. Second child: You buy a convenient plastic rack to hold baby bottle lids and nipples, and pop everything in the dishwasher. Third child: Remember the five-second rule for when a piece of food falls on the ground? Diapers for your new baby First child: You buy top-of-the-line newborn diapers with the convenient umbilical cord cutouts and carefully stock the diaper holder so that it matches your baby's room. Second child: You move on to generic diapers and fold over the part that covers the umbilical cord until the cord dries and falls off. Third child: You grab as many extra diapers from the hospital's newborn nursery as allowed, and when you run out at home, you settle for the unused size 4's left over from your previous diapering days while you send someone out to buy more. Diaper disposals First child: You buy a Diaper Genie or other specialized container and use it religiously to dispose of all of your baby's diapers. Second child: You still have a Diaper Genie, and if you happen to change your baby in its vicinity, you use it. Third child: You ran out of replacement bags for your Diaper Genie last time around, and instead you keep a lot of old plastic shopping bags on hand to cut down the smell of the diapers in the household garbage cans. Monogrammed baby clothes First child: Your friends throw you a big party after the baby is born and you get the cutest little monogrammed baby outfit. Second child: You decide to spring for a similar monogrammed baby outfit for your second child so that she can have a baby picture that matches your firstborn's. Third child: Your baby is still decked out in a monogrammed outfit--it's just pink and bears his sibling's initials. Onesies First child: You look in a book to find out what a "onesie" is and then make sure to buy one for each day of the week Second child: You go through your old onesies and sort out the ones in the wrong color or that are too stained. You also make sure to buy enough to have a week's worth of onesies (which you now realize is closer to three per day!) Third child: You figure that color and spit-up stains don't show through an outer layer of clothing, and if one of the three snaps is functional, hey, it's acceptable. Stocking up on baby clothes First child: Full price. Second child: You still spring for full price for special occasions, but you basically outfit your child off the sale racks. Third child: Hand-me-downs and garage sales. Can't beat 25 cents a shirt, now, can you? Dealing with tantrums First child: You question what you've done wrong, get out the parenting books, and ponder how to best handle the situation so you don't damage your child's fragile ego. Second child: You yell at your child when she throws a tantrum, but give in because you don't want her shrieks to wake your other child. Third child: Your calm response to your child's tantrum is to ask "OK, so whom do you want to go live with?" Baby books First child: You record every coo and hiccup, and the pages are so full of memorabilia that the book won't shut. Second child: You keep your baby book in a big storage box along with all of the important notes, scraps, and photos in hopes of one day finding time to record all the memorable moments. Third child: Memorabilia gets hung on the refrigerator with a magnet and the baby book is still in its original wrapper, which proves to be very fortunate when you are invited to a friend's baby shower and find yourself at the last minute without a gift. Feeding supplies First child: Tiffany silver spoon and Royal Doulton Bunnykins cup and bowl. Second child: Matched sets of plastic, compartmentalized kid plates and utensils with cute designs. Third child: A motley assortment of free souvenir plates and cups collected from countless meals at family restaurants. Check out our articles on firstborns, middle children, and last-borns for more information, as well as the only children of the birth-order issue. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. Visit our Siblings and Family Relationships articles for insights and advice. Join the discussion on Birth Order.
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